


First Class

by Ryvian



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Not Compilation Compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-07 09:04:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 18,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4257495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryvian/pseuds/Ryvian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of Sephiroth and Zack centric ficlets set before Nibelheim.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Truth

**The Truth**

"Man, Hojo's gonna kick your ass."

Sephiroth looked up from the files he was thumbing through. "I'm not afraid of him," he said, before returning his attention to the files.

Zack knew that was a lie. Sephiroth was afraid of Hojo. In fact, Hojo seemed to be the only thing Sephiroth was afraid of. Zack had no idea why, but he had never dared to ask.

Sephiroth pushed the drawer shut with an exasperated sigh and started in on the one above it. Zack wasn't quite sure what he was looking for. When Sephiroth had shown up at his door half an hour before, around 4 AM, and asked him to come with him, the urgency in his voice had made Zack go without question. He hadn't even asked why his friend wasn't asleep at such an ungodly hour and looked like he hadn't gone to bed at all.

Zack leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. "What are you looking for, anyway?"

"Hojo's been hiding something from me," Sephiroth said, "and I want to know the truth."

Oh, so that was it. Zack almost slapped himself for not realizing. Sephiroth had said before that he knew almost nothing of his parents or where he was born.

"Have you ever considered that you might be better off not knowing?" Zack said. "Ignorance is bliss and all that."

Sephiroth ignored him, pushing the current drawer shut as well. He sighed again and leaned forward, resting his forehead on the top edge of the file cabinet.

"It's useless," he muttered, and Zack was shocked by how utterly worn out he sounded.

Zack moved away from the wall. "Seph…"

Sephiroth moved away from the cabinet and headed for the door without a word. Zack followed after him, his chest tight with worry.

They entered the elevator and Sephiroth pressed "44", and then leaned against the wall as the elevator began its descent.

Zack looked over at him. He had never seen Sephiroth look as defeated as he did right then; his partially shadowed eyes spoke of loss and frustration.

Zack touched his shoulder and gave him a concerned look. Sephiroth glanced at him for a fraction of a second before turning away.

The elevator stopped at 44 and the doors opened, but Zack made no move to get off. He couldn't leave his friend in this state.

"Seph…" He gripped Sephiroth's shoulder as the doors slid shut again.

"Leave me alone, Zack," Sephiroth said in a very commanding tone.

"No," Zack said.

"Leave me alone," Sephiroth said again, the icy anger that usually made people shrink back in fear in his voice.

"No," Zack said, getting slightly angry himself. "I'm worried about you, damn it!"

Sephiroth pushed Zack's hand off his shoulder and turned around to face him. The fierce look in his eyes made Zack's blood run cold and he backed up a few paces involuntarily.

"Seph…You're scaring me…" he said, the wall cold against his back.

That seemed to snap Sephiroth out of whatever strange mood had overtaken him.

"I apologize," he said, looking away again.

Zack sighed. "Come on," he said, and pushed the button to open the doors.

Sephiroth looked at him. "What?"

"There's only a couple hours before work and it's not like either of us is going to get any sleep," Zack said. "So, come on. I'll make you some tea."

"Fine."

Ten minutes later, they were sitting on Zack's couch drinking tea. Sephiroth's morose mood seemed to be persisting, and Zack was still worried.

"Hey, cheer up," Zack said.

Sephiroth didn't say anything, merely took another drink.

"I can kick Hojo in the nuts next time I see him if that'll make you feel better."

Zack was rewarded with a snort and a small smile from Sephiroth.

"Oh, so it would?" Zack said, grinning. "I'll make sure to do it then."

"I'll make sure to misplace the conduct referral forms," Sephiroth said.  

Zack laughed, glad that he had managed to make his friend feel better.


	2. Incident

**Incident, What Incident?**

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow as his second-in-command came barreling into the office at top speed, nearly plowing his chair over as he threw himself into it and sat there slightly red-faced and gasping for breath.

"Do I dare ask?"

Zack grinned. "Remember…the other…night when I…said I was going to kick Hojo in the balls?"

Sephiroth was overcome by a distinct feeling of dread. "You didn't."

Zack's grin got bigger. "I did."

"Zack…"

"He's gonna be up here as soon as he can walk, too," Zack said.

Sure enough, ten minutes later, Hojo stormed into the office without even knocking. Zack busied himself with his paperwork, but he was fighting to keep a straight face.

"Are you aware of what your subordinate has just done?" Hojo said, fuming.

Sephiroth feigned bored ignorance. "I can't say that I am," he said, his voice taking on a twin bored tone.

"Surely you've heard from someone about the _incident_ that just happened in the hall?" Hojo said, getting angrier by the second.

Sephiroth delighted in the way the vein in his forehead was throbbing for a moment before answering.

"Incident?" Sephiroth said. "I am not aware of any incidents."

"Your subordinate just _attacked_ me!" Hojo yelled, gesturing wildly.

"That's impossible, Professor," Sephiroth said. "Zack has been here in the office all morning."

Hojo's face grew redder and he opened his mouth, probably to call Sephiroth a liar, but seemed to think better of it and instead huffed and stomped out.

There was silence for a few seconds after the door shut behind him, before Zack howled with laughter.

"Did you see the look on his face?" Zack said.

"You do realize how much trouble you could have gotten us both into," Sephiroth said, though he was smiling.

"Nah," Zack said. "I knew you'd find a way out of it. You can weasel your way out of anything, especially with _that_ sitting right there." Zack jerked his head in the direction of Masamune, which was propped up against the wall within reach of Sephiroth's chair.

Sephiroth sighed and shook his head.

Zack rubbed the back of his neck, looking sheepish. "Thanks for bailing me out, though."

"You're welcome," Sephiroth said. "Just don't do it again."

Zack grinned. "Yes sir."


	3. Important Things

**Important Things**

The images would not go away. He could still see his sword slicing through the body of another victim. He could almost feel the hot blood on his hands and smell the metallic odor of it, and he swore that if he looked down he would see it, too.

Zack forced himself to concentrate on his work, trying to still his trembling hand long enough to sign the bottom of the report. It didn't help anything that everything in his stack of papers seemed to be on Wutai. It didn't help one bit.

He set the pen down and took a deep breath. He needed to get himself under control if he was going to get anything done. He was the General's second-in-command now, so he had an image to uphold. It wouldn't reflect well on SOLDIER if the Lieutenant General looked like some sort of nut job.

He got up. "I'll be right back."

Sephiroth didn't even look up from his work, responding with a dismissive wave of his hand.

Zack went down the hall to the employee bathroom and was very relieved to find it completely empty. He turned the water on cold and splashed some on his face, before straightening and looking at himself in the mirror.

He gave a pathetic chuckle at his reflection. He looked perfectly normal; there was no indication on the outside of the turmoil that was going on inside him. That was just how he wanted it; if he was all smiles no one would notice that there was anything wrong with him.

He shut the water off, dried his hands and went back to the office. When he got back, he found Sephiroth wasn't at his own desk, but in front of _his_ , leaning back against it with his arms crossed over his chest, and he did not look pleased.

"What's up?" Zack said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Sephiroth gestured to the pile of unfinished paperwork on the desk. "You have hardly done any work," he said. "Would you care to tell me what's going on?"

The last wasn't a simple question, it was an order, and Zack ignored it.

"Nothing," Zack said. "I'm just a little distracted today. That's all."

Sephiroth fixed him with a cool stare. "You're lying."

Sephiroth's eyes dared him to deny it. The next lie died before it reached his lips.

"Now, tell me what's going on," Sephiroth said.

Zack looked at the floor, feeling suddenly ashamed. "I…keep thinking about the war…all those people I killed…I can still see them."

Zack heard Sephiroth move away from his desk, but he didn't look up. That is, until Sephiroth came to stand directly in front of him.

"Are you alright?" Sephiroth said. Zack was surprised at how concerned he sounded.

Zack thought about lying, but figured that Sephiroth would see right through it like he had the last.

"I don't know…" he said.

Sephiroth watched him for a long moment, his eyes slightly narrowed, then his expression softened much more than usual. "Do you want to…talk about it?"

Zack stared at him, the anxiety he'd felt fading into the background to be replaced by shock. "Who are you and what have you done with Sephiroth?"

Sephiroth said nothing, almost as if he had not heard Zack's remark, waiting for an answer.

Zack sighed. "There's no point. You were there."

"Apparently I wasn't," Sephiroth said, "at least not in the capacity I should have been."

Sephiroth continued, seemingly ignoring the shocked look that Zack was sure he was sporting. "I was focused too much on the mission and neglected the…important things."

Zack realized that Sephiroth had just said in his own strange way that he cared and that made him feel better than he had in days. His shocked look formed into a small smile.

"I…" Sephiroth began, but Zack stopped him by laying a hand on his arm.

"No need," Zack said. "You don't need to say anything else."

Sephiroth nodded once, a slight smile on his lips. He returned to his desk and Zack took that as a cue to get back to his own work.

Just as he sat down, Sephiroth came over with a stack of paperwork. In one fluid motion, he picked up the stack from Zack's desk and replaced it with the one in his hands, before heading back to his desk as if nothing had happened.

Zack looked down at the new stack and saw that they were applications for SOLDIER. Sephiroth had taken the all reports and, with them, the reminders of Wutai.

He looked up and gave his already hard at work commander a smile.


	4. Friend

**Friend**

Zack had been wondering how long the General was going to last when he had come in that morning looking like he hadn't slept in days.

Sephiroth had been gone for a few days to Wutai to take care of a small rebel group that hadn't been completely weeded out during the war and had just returned that morning. He had obviously not slept the entire time, given the dark circles under his eyes and how irritable he'd been.

Zack shook his head with a sigh. He would never understand why Sephiroth would do that to himself. Sure, he was better than your average SOLDIER, but even he needed a break once and awhile.

His body had obviously decided for him that now was the time for such a break, as he was currently slumped in his chair, asleep. Zack didn't see any need to wake him, since there wasn't much paperwork left to be done and they probably wouldn't have any visitors now that it was afternoon. Sephiroth would probably be mad when he awoke, but Zack would worry about that when the time came.

He signed the last of his stack of papers, rolled his chair away from the desk, and stretched with a wide yawn. Then he stood and tiptoed over to Sephiroth's desk, trying to be as quiet as he could.

He had actually managed to grab the stack of paperwork off the desk before Sephiroth awoke and saw him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to do the rest of your work," Zack said with a smile.

"You are not," Sephiroth said, eyes slightly narrowed.

"Come on, Seph," Zack said, "You're exhausted."

Sephiroth looked like he was about to protest, but Zack cut him off.

"Don't try to deny it. I can tell you haven't really slept in days."

"I'm fine," Sephiroth said.

Zack almost laughed, but he figured that would just annoy his friend even more. Instead, he sat down on the edge of the desk and peered at Sephiroth with concern.

"You don't look fine," he said.

Sephiroth took the stack of papers from him and started reading the top one, clearly ignoring him. But Zack wasn't going to give up that easily.

He set his hand down firmly in the center of the report. "Hey now," he said, "Quit doing my work."

Sephiroth looked at his hand and then up at him. "It is not your work."

"Sure it is," he said with a grin. He snatched it up and scurried over to his desk, where he set the stack down with a flourish and then turned back toward Sephiroth.

"It's on my desk, isn't it?" he said, grin growing. "So it must be mine."

Zack noticed the subtle signs that his stoic General was annoyed; the slight downturn of the corners of his mouth, his hand clenched into a fist on the desk. He ignored them, of course, and sat down, ignoring Sephiroth just as he had him.

He could feel Sephiroth's eyes on him all the way through the first report. Finally, after he had signed it and set it in Out box, he looked up to find Sephiroth regarding him, all signs of annoyance gone.

"What?" he said.

"I…was just thinking," Sephiroth replied.

Zack grinned. "'bout how totally awesome I am, right?"

Sephiroth was silent for a moment before he spoke. "Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why do you…do things like this?"

"Hey, someone's gotta look after you," Zack said. "Who knows what'd happen if I wasn't around."

Sephiroth gave him a look that said, 'Quit fooling around'.

"Because you're my friend," Zack said, simply.

Sephiroth looked down at his desk, his brow furrowed. It had been clear to Zack from the beginning that no one had ever given a rat's ass about Sephiroth, other than as their General or a – he suppressed a shudder at the thought – test subject in years, if not his entire life. It must have been strange to be called a friend.

Even so, Zack had made it pretty damn clear that he cared, so Sephiroth really shouldn't have been as surprised as he still seemed to be by his actions.

"Damn it, Seph," Zack said, "You know I care about you. You'd have to be stupid not to, and I know you're far from it. So quit acting like this is some huge surprise."

Sephiroth looked back at him then, his expression just as impassive as before and said, "You had better do those well."

Zack smiled. The gratitude was unspoken, but it was there nonetheless.

'It's good to be appreciated,' Zack thought, and got back to work.

This would be the best paperwork he had ever done.


	5. Saturday Night

**Saturday Night**

Zack punched in Sephiroth's key code and walked into his apartment. It was after midnight, but Zack expected Sephiroth to be up. He'd just gotten back from the club and came to bug Sephiroth as he usually did on Saturday nights, because Sephiroth sure as hell wasn't going to go out with him and Zack didn't want him to spend the whole night alone.

He was surprised, when he entered the apartment, to find it dark. Sephiroth was there, because his boots were on the mat by the door, but there was no sign of him.

He ventured down the hall and into the bedroom, and found Sephiroth lying on his bed, lamp on, asleep, a book laying on his chest. Suddenly, he felt wrong for being there, but told himself that Sephiroth wouldn't have given him his key code if he wanted to keep him out.

Smiling, he looked down at his friend. He could count on one hand the number of times he'd seen Sephiroth sleep; it was such a rare occurrence. This was the first time that Zack had seen him like this, though, completely relaxed and unguarded, like a child.

He was even snoring a little, Zack noticed with a chuckle. Sephiroth would be mortified if he knew, so Zack stored the information for future use.

Zack didn't think Sephiroth would object too much to being woken up, since it looked like he hadn't intended to fall asleep, so he reached out and touched his friend's shoulder.

Before he could even react, one of Sephiroth's hands closed around his wrist and the other went for his throat. Zack's chest tightened in fear for a second, before Sephiroth awoke enough to realize what he was doing and released him.

Zack sank down on the edge of the bed, rubbing his neck, and tried to stop his heart from beating so fast.

"Damn…"

"I'm sorry," Sephiroth said. "It's a reflex."

Zack waved dismissively.

Sephiroth sat up completely and ran a hand through his hair. "What are you doing here?"

"Came to bug you, of course," Zack said, with his usual grin. "But you were asleep."

"So you thought you'd wake me?" Sephiroth said, sounding tired, but not annoyed.

"I wanted to tell you I was back."

Sephiroth sighed and looked at his clock, which read 12:35, then back at Zack.

"I was thinking you would be back earlier," Sephiroth said.

It sounded like an admonishment for staying out so late, but Zack took it to mean that Sephiroth had been waiting for him.

"Heh, sorry…" Zack said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Got kinda involved in something."

Sephiroth looked him over. "Dressed like that, there are quite a few…things you could be involved in, none of which I want to know anything about."

Zack bit his tongue. Sephiroth was getting good at stopping his usually lengthy stories before he had a chance to start them. Oh well, Zack thought, he'd just have to work harder.

"You like it?" Zack said, gesturing to his outfit with a grin.

"You look like a 5 gil whore."

"Gee, thanks," Zack said, trying to sound as hurt as possible. "I thought I'd be worth at least 10."

Sephiroth looked pointedly at his crotch. "Why pay extra for that which one can get for free?"

Wow, Sephiroth was exceptionally witty tonight. Zack supposed that meant he was in a good mood, which meant he could probably get away with what he was about to say.

"Like those pants you wear in battle are any better," Zack said. "They leave nothing to the imagination."

"So that's what you do instead of forming a battle strategy, is it?" Sephiroth said, smirking.

Zack grinned. "Oh, yes," he said, in a tone that mimicked a really horrible porno he'd seen. "You make me hot…I can't stand it…Take me now!"

"Sorry," Sephiroth said, seeming completely nonplussed, "I don't have 5 gil."

Zack laughed. He bent down, so his mouth was just inches from Sephiroth's ear and said, in his most seductive voice, "Who said anything about money?"

Sephiroth pushed him away.

Zack plopped down on the bed. "Did ya miss me?"

Sephiroth picked the book up off the bed and opened it, looking down at the page before answering. "Yes, Zack," Sephiroth said, as if he were speaking to a particularly annoying child. "The peace and quiet was driving me insane…"

Zack stuck his tongue out. He knew, in reality, that Sephiroth had missed him, though there was no way Zack could ever get him to admit it.

He would be back a lot earlier next Saturday; that much was for sure.


	6. For The Long Run

**For The Long Run**

He had gone again, to Hojo's lab. Despite the many times Zack had told him to stop, that going there was only hurting him, he still went back like a trained puppy returning to its master.

One of these days he would figure out why Sephiroth was so afraid of Hojo, why a man so otherwise determined to be in control of every aspect of himself and his life would let himself be manipulated like he was. Fear wasn't the only factor in this, and he knew it.

The door opened and Sephiroth walked in, looking as if it was taking all his strength to walk normally. He was pale and shaking and his eyes were strangely hazy.

"Why are you here?" Sephiroth said, his voice cold and biting.

"I knew you were _there_ ," Zack said. "So I came to make sure you were alright."

"I don't need…" Sephiroth started, but stopped abruptly. His hand went to his head and he swayed dangerously.

Zack put an arm around his shoulders and steadied him. "Sit down, Seph."

He guided Sephiroth to the couch and Sephiroth sat down, hand still on his head. He closed his eyes.

"Go away," Sephiroth said.

"No."

Sephiroth glared at him. "Go away!"

"I said no," Zack said, glaring right back at him.

Not five seconds later, Sephiroth passed out.

Zack caught him and shook him. "Seph? Hey, wake up."

Sephiroth didn't respond at all.

"Damn it," Zack said, and eased him down onto the couch.

He slid down, draping Sephiroth's legs over his lap and fetched the blanket from the back of the couch, and covered him with it.

He sat there for who knows how long watching over his friend as he slept fitfully, all the while envisioning Hojo's untimely death. Where the hell had Hojo gotten the idea that he could fuck with someone like this? And, if Zack guessed correctly, it had been going on since Sephiroth was very little. Who knew what that bastard had done to him?

Sephiroth cried out in pain, and tears leaked from the corners of his eyes.

Zack remembered the pain all too well from when he'd undergone the SOLDIER conversion process; the mako felt like a million tiny knives running through your veins. Was this what it was like every time?

Sephiroth had wanted him to leave because he didn't want Zack to see him in this state, didn't want him to know. But Zack had figured it would be like this; that was why he'd come, and he wasn't about to leave.

Sephiroth snapped awake then, gasping.

Zack gave him a worried look.

"Don't…look at me…like that!" Sephiroth said.

Zack put his hand on Sephiroth's leg, offering what little comfort he could. There was no way to lessen the pain, so it was all he could do.

Sephiroth forced back another cry of pain, holding the blanket in a white-knuckled grip and Zack felt him tremble.

It seemed like it had been hours when Sephiroth's tense muscles relaxed and he lay there, breathing heavily.

He reached up with a shaky hand, and wiped the tears from his eyes, then looked at Zack.

"You should have gone," he said, sounding completely exhausted.

"Why?" Zack said. "Because you didn't want me to see you like this? Because you didn't want to look weak?"

Sephiroth didn't say anything, but Zack knew it was true.

"Shit, Seph," he said, "Mako hurts like hell! You think you're supposed to be able to just sit there like nothing's happening? I don't know anyone who can do that. I mean, I've seen grown men curl up into little balls and sob for their mommies. The other day, Captain Avery puked on one of the lab techs. Then there was the time that…"

Zack stopped when he noticed that Sephiroth wasn't paying attention. He had turned his head and was staring at the back of the couch, looking like he was deep in thought.

"Seph?" Zack said.

Sephiroth looked at him.

"Are you alright?"

Sephiroth just looked at him for a moment, as if it hadn't registered that Zack had asked him something.

"…Yes," he answered finally.

"Somehow I don't believe that," Zack said.

Sephiroth sat up, pushing the blanket off him and gave him a look that warned him to let it go.

Zack ignored the warning. "You know I'll never believe that bullshit, so I don't know why you keep trying to feed it to me."

Sephiroth closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Leave it be, Zack."

The warning was in Sephiroth's tone as well.

"I won't!" Zack said, getting angry, "I'm sick of this shit!"

It fucking _hurt_ to see one of his closest friends let himself be harmed time and time again and do absolutely nothing to stop it. He'd let it go for far too long.

Sephiroth looked at him, and his brain barely had time to register that there was something strange about his eyes – his pupils were elongated like a cat's – before Sephiroth flew at him, knocking him back onto the couch and pinning him there.

Zack's insides writhed with fear and his heart felt like it was going to leap from his chest.

"Shut up," Sephiroth practically snarled, his words dripping with contempt.

Zack saw his death written in those alien eyes, and thought desperately of some way to escape. Sephiroth was on top of him, all his strength holding Zack down. There was no way Zack could overpower him, Sephiroth was so much stronger than he was.

Sephiroth squeezed his eyes shut then and his hand went to his forehead again, and when he recovered and looked at Zack again his eyes looked just as they always did.

Sephiroth got up very quickly and turned away from him. "I…"

Zack pushed himself up and reached out to touch Sephiroth's arm. "Seph?"

What the fuck _was_ that?

Sephiroth bowed his head. "I apologize if I've injured you."

"I don't give a fuck about me," Zack said, "What I'm worried about is you."

"I…don't know what's wrong with me," Sephiroth said. He turned his head and said over his shoulder. "Go. Before it happens again."

Zack could tell from his tone that Sephiroth didn't just mean for him to leave right then. He wanted him to leave forever.

"Hell no," Zack said, "You're stuck with me."

"Zack…"

"I don't care what happens," Zack said, closing his hand around Sephiroth's arm. "There's no way you're gonna make me leave."

Sephiroth sighed. "I should have known you would say that," he said. The weariness that had been in his voice earlier was back.

Zack tugged on his arm, with the intention of getting Sephiroth to sit back down. Sephiroth gave in and settled back down beside him.

"You knew what you were getting into," Zack said, " 'fraid you're in it for the long run, now."

"I know," Sephiroth said, and Zack detected a hint of relief. "I know."


	7. Concern

**Concern**

Sephiroth sighed. His second-in-command never ceased to amaze him. Somehow, though they were crammed in the back of the smallest transport truck that he had ever seen and were traveling on a bumpy road, Zack had managed to fall asleep and _on him_ nonetheless.

Cursing whoever had decided it was acceptable for them to ride in a 6 by 6 foot area between boxes of cargo, he made another attempt to push Zack away.

Zack didn't even stir. Sephiroth glared at him and flexed his hand, trying to get some feeling back in the arm that the unconscious man had been leaning heavily against for the past half hour, according to the watch Zack was wearing.

It wasn't just that he was uncomfortable, he was also bored. Incredibly bored. He hadn't brought anything to keep him occupied, because he figured Zack would talk his ear off about everything and nothing, as he usually did when they traveled anywhere for missions. But instead, Zack had decided he would make a good pillow.

Of course, Zack hadn't intended to fall asleep, the rational part of his brain was thinking. He'd been sleeping poorly as of late, after all. The other part was sure that Zack was doing this just to irritate him, because he thought it was funny. He might even have thought that Zack was faking it, if it weren't for the fact that he was almost dead weight and he was snoring very convincingly.

Sephiroth leaned his head back against the stack of boxes behind him, figuring that if Zack had no intention of moving, he might as well relax. He closed his eyes and let his mind wander.

He had nearly managed to doze off when the truck hit a bump in the road. There was a loud smack as Zack’s head connected with the armor on his shoulder.

Zack swore and moved away, hand covering his face.

Sephiroth pushed a box that was threatening to fall on them back into place. “Are you injured?”

“Nah.” Zack rubbed his forehead. “Not a nice way to wake up, though.”

“That wouldn’t have happened had you not decided to use it as a pillow.”

Zack looked sheepish. "Sorry 'bout that. I've just been so damn tired lately..."

"Still having nightmares?" Sephiroth said.

Sephiroth knew that Zack had been trying to hide that fact from him for some reason, even though he'd had one every time he'd slept on Sephiroth's couch in the past month. The way he'd cried out had even woken Sephiroth the few times he'd actually been asleep.

"How do you know about that?" Zack asked, brow furrowed slightly.

"You've slept on my couch a dozen times in the past month," Sephiroth said, hoping Zack would catch his drift.

Zack sighed. "Guess the secret's out then..."

"Why haven't you spoken to anyone about it?" Sephiroth asked. "That's why there are counselors working for Shinra now."

"Yeah, right," Zack said, frowning. "I can see the headlines now...'Great Sephiroth Hires Nut Job To Be Second-In-Command'."

"If you are a 'nut job', then I'm completely psychotic," Sephiroth said. It felt odd having to reassure Zack and not the other way around as it usually was. He chocked it up to the fact that Zack was sleep-deprived and obviously not thinking rationally.

"You mean you're not?" Zack said. "Where've I been?"

Leave it to Zack to still joke around, despite obviously being in a bad mood.

Sephiroth pretended he didn't hear the comment and instead fixed Zack with a cool stare. "Do not force me to issue an order for you to go."

"Seph..." Zack protested, looking at him like a child who had just been informed that they were going to the doctor.

"I am concerned, as your General, about your performance," Sephiroth said. He paused and cleared his throat before continuing, speaking much softer, "but I'm also concerned about your well-being...as your friend."

Zack looked at him for a moment in silence, his lips curving into a small smile. Then he nodded. "I'll go as soon as we get back."

"I will keep you to that," Sephiroth said, and he meant it. He was tired of seeing Zack this way; he missed the Zack who would sit on his desk on top of his important papers and crack terrible jokes, the one who would give his all when they would spar, even though he knew he would lose, and most of all he missed the Zack who seemed to radiate cheerfulness.

He would have his best friend back, no matter what he had to do to make it happen.


	8. Gift

**Gift**

Zack nodded absently, pretending to pay attention to what the SOLDIER that he had struck up a conversation with was saying, as his eyes scanned the room.

The president's office was decked out in its usual manner for this yearly celebration, red, green, gold, and silver tinsel hung from the ceiling, and there were several beautifully decorated trees against the walls. The president's desk had been covered with a festive red velvet cloth and various holiday foods were laid out upon it. Shinra had even gotten a small band to play this year.

Zack loosened his tie a little and continued to scan the room. Where the hell had Sephiroth gotten off to? He seemed to have the strange habit of slipping away unnoticed. You'd think someone like him wouldn't be capable of that, but, there was no sign of him.

"'scuse me," he said to the SOLDIER, interrupting the story that had clearly been meant to impress him. "There's something I gotta do."

He made a hasty retreat and wandered around the room hoping to catch a glimpse of his missing commander or some clue as to where he had gone.

"Oi!"

He looked in the direction of the call and saw one of the Turks heading for him, the redheaded one; Reno, if he remembered correctly.

"You're the Lieutenant General, right?" Reno said.

Zack nodded. "Call me Zack, though."

Reno grinned wryly. "'kay. Zack it is! You're lookin' for the General, aren't ya?"

"Yeah," Zack said. "Do you know where he went?"

"Saw him go outside awhile ago," Reno said, jerking his head toward the open door to the roof. "Looked pretty pissed."

"He always looks like that," Zack said. He started toward the door, but then stopped and looked back over his shoulder. "Thanks."

Reno raised his glass in response.

Zack emerged into the cooler air outside and spotted Sephiroth instantly. He was leaning on the cement guard a few feet away, looking out over the city. There was no one else around, probably because Sephiroth was there and the more annoying of Shinra's employees were currently busy bothering someone else.

Zack joined him and stood there in silence for a moment, enjoying the cool night air. It was a welcomed change after the stuffiness inside.

"Some party, huh?" he said, looking out at the city lights. He'd always thought the city looked almost magical at night. It would have been, had it been any place other than Midgar.

Sephiroth said nothing. Zack looked at him and noticed that he was looking a great deal more morose than usual.

"Hey…what's got you so down?" Zack said. "I mean I know you hate these things, but…"

Sephiroth closed his eyes with a sigh and clenched his hand into a fist on the cement. "I hate…Yule."

"Why?" Zack said, "What's there to hate about it? Everyone's happy this time 'a year."

"Happy…" Sephiroth said, bitterness in his voice. "I was never happy on Yule."

He sighed again. "I told you I have lived here most of my life. There was only one day out of the year where there were other children around, and that was today. Shinra used to hold a banquet for all of the children living on the plate and their families. They were always so happy, showing each other the gifts they'd received.

"I remember the first year I went, I asked one of them why he had gotten a gift and he looked at me like I was insane. I had never gotten a gift on Yule, so I didn't know about it."

Zack was shocked. "No presents?"

Sephiroth shook his head. "Never," he said, and added quietly, "Until last year."

"Damn," Zack said. "I'm sorry."

Then he grinned, remembering that he had brought the present he'd gotten Sephiroth with him, not intending on going back to his apartment after the party. He pulled the small package out of his jacket pocket.

He'd decided on deep red paper with silver accents on it this year, which was perfect for the contents of the box. It was a dragon armlet with a summon materia, and not just any summon materia; it was a mastered Knights of the Round. It had taken him months to master the materia after he had been lucky enough to find it in a store. The dragon armlet had been difficult to locate as well; in the end he had traded a large amount of gil and his mastered Bolt materia for it to be ordered out of a shop on the other side of the world and sent to Midgar.

"Here," he said, holding the box out. "Happy Yule."

Sephiroth looked down at the box, as if he was making sure it was really there.

Zack laughed. "Just open it."

Sephiroth took it and un-taped one end, then slid the box out and opened it. He stared at its contents for a moment and then touched the materia. Seconds later, he withdrew his hand and looked at Zack.

"This is…"

Zack grinned. "Knights of the Round. Mastered."

"How…?"

Sephiroth appeared to not be able to form complete sentences. Zack figured that meant he had succeeded in surprising him.

"Did it myself," Zack said.

Sephiroth stared at him and Zack had to laugh at the surprised look on his face.

"The look on your face is priceless!" he said.

Sephiroth's face immediately went back to its usual impassiveness. He closed the box and slid it into his suit jacket.

"Thank you," Sephiroth said, with a small smile.

Zack smiled back. "Anytime."


	9. Rat in a Maze

**Rat in a Maze**

Zack slid his keycard through the door and was rewarded when it opened. Having Level 10 clearance really paid off at times.

He ventured into the lab, glancing around. The note he'd found on his desk said that Sephiroth had gone to the lab and that he'd be back later, but "later" wasn't good enough for Zack. He got an odd feeling every time Sephiroth left to go see Hojo, and he knew from experience that his odd feelings usually meant something was wrong.

He spotted his friend almost immediately. Sephiroth was lying on a metal table a few feet away, unconscious. Zack went over and found that he wasn't just lying to the table; he was strapped to the table. There were hard leather straps secured tightly around his wrists and ankles.

He looked around, warily, but Hojo was nowhere to be seen. He had obviously finished and just left Sephiroth there. He had even left an IV needle in his arm, though it wasn't attached to anything. With a noise of disgust, he pulled it out and threw it onto a nearby table.

He undid the straps and found bruises on the pale skin under them. Sephiroth had obviously fought hard against them.

"What the hell did you do, Hojo?" Zack muttered.

He shook Sephiroth gently. "Seph?"

Sephiroth's forehead wrinkled slightly.

"Come on, Seph. Wake up."

Sephiroth moaned softly.

Zack shook him again, and this time his eyes opened and he sat up very quickly. Obviously too quickly, as his hand went to his head and he started to fall back.

Zack caught him. "Whoa. Take it easy."

Sephiroth looked at him, a bewildered expression on his face. "Zack...?"

Zack smiled to hide his concern. Sephiroth was clearly disoriented and his concern probably would have just upset him.

Sephiroth pushed him away weakly and sat up much more slowly. He put his head in his hands and groaned.

"What did he do to you?" Zack said, not sure he really wanted to know.

"I...don't remember," Sephiroth said.

"Are you - "

"What are _you_ doing here?" a cold voice demanded from behind him.

He whirled around see Hojo standing near one of the other doors.

"You are not allowed in here," Hojo said, and started toward them.

Zack stood his ground and glared challengingly at him. "Fuck you."

"I was not finished, either," Hojo said, ignoring him.

"Well, you are now," Zack said, in a tone that dared him to say any different.

"Isn't that _cute_?" Hojo said, leering at him. "He doesn't need to be protected by the likes of you. Now move. I have work to do."

"No." Sephiroth slid off the table and stood next to Zack. "I am leaving."

Without another word, Sephiroth pushed the sleeve of his uniform down and headed for the door.

"You can't leave," Hojo called after him. "I'm not finished."

"He can do whatever he damn well pleases," Zack said, and followed him out.

Zack followed him silently to the elevator and into it. He watched as Sephiroth pushed 49 and the doors slid closed.

"I don't know why you let him do that to you," Zack said, watching the numbers go down.

The only response he got was a barely audible grunt. He looked over at Sephiroth and noticed that he looked slightly ill.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. He walked with Sephiroth down the hall to the office, glancing over at him every few seconds with concern.

Sephiroth opened the door to the office and entered, going immediately to his desk and sitting down. Zack followed him and sat down on the edge of his desk, continuing to look at him concernedly.

"I'm fine," Sephiroth said, looking up at him.

"You look like you're gonna pass out any second," Zack said.

"Do your work, Zack," Sephiroth said. He picked up his pen and looked down at the stack of papers on his desk.

"You're just another rat in a maze to him, ya know," Zack said. "He doesn't give a shit about you."

Sephiroth looked back at him. "I know."

"Then why do you keep going there?" Zack said.

"You wouldn't understand."

Zack looked him straight in the eye. "You're afraid of him."

Sephiroth's eyes widened slightly before he looked back down at his desk. "You're more perceptive than I give you credit for, it seems."

"Seph," Zack said, laying a hand on his arm. "Don't go there anymore."

"I cannot just stop," Sephiroth said.

"Well, why the hell not?"

Sephiroth looked back at him. "He'll - "

"There's nothing he can do to you," Zack said. "Shinra'll do almost anything to keep you around."

"But - "

Zack squeezed his arm. "If you could've seen yourself when I got there, you wouldn't be arguing with me. He strapped you down! It left bruises on your arms, I saw them…"

Sephiroth frowned and pulled up his sleeve. He stared down at the line of deep purple that crossed it, as if he hadn't noticed it before.

"Damn him..." Sephiroth muttered.

"Seph, _please_..."

Sephiroth pushed his sleeve back down. "Never again," he said, "This ends today."

Zack almost breathed a sigh of relief. He had been prepared to stop Sephiroth from going there again any way he could, but it looked like he wouldn't have to. Sephiroth had finally come to his senses, just like Zack knew he would.


	10. Therapy

**Therapy**

Zack leaned forward against Sephiroth's closed door, panting, his heart pounding. It had been a huge mistake to go into the clinic for therapy. The questions he'd been asked had only served to bring back the memories with a vengeance, and now he could hardly breathe, he was shaking, and he felt sick.

He knocked on the door again, hoping desperately that Sephiroth was there and that he was just asleep or something. He didn't think he could make it back to his own apartment and he didn't much want to sit out in the hallway in the condition he was in.

The door opened several seconds later. Zack looked at the floor, ashamed of being seen like he was.

"You have my key code, do you not?" Sephiroth sounded annoyed.

"I...I can't remember it," Zack said.

There was a slight pause and Zack could feel Sephiroth's eyes on him as he fought to keep from shaking so violently.

"Inside," Sephiroth said.

Zack stepped over the threshold and the door slid shut behind him. He leaned back heavily against it. "Guess I really am a nut job..."

"Nonsense," Sephiroth said. "Go sit down."

Zack walked over and sank gratefully onto the couch, closing his eyes.

He felt Sephiroth sit down. "Now, breathe deeply and relax."

Zack did as he was told. In minutes, the panicky feeling was gone, though he was left feeling vaguely ill.

He opened his eyes and looked at Sephiroth, noticing for the first time that his friend was shirtless and the couch was warm. He was confused for a moment, before realization hit him.

"Shit," he said. "You had a mako treatment today."

Sephiroth never felt well after he went in for treatments, though it was better now that he was only getting those required of all SOLDIER members and not the extra ones given by Hojo. He usually spent the remainder of those days resting...and Zack had just disturbed him.

"Forget it," Sephiroth said. "Just tell me what happened."

"The counselor asked me some stuff, and...I dunno, I just kinda freaked out," Zack said. "I ran out and came here."

"Ah," Sephiroth said. "That does not mean you're crazy, merely overly stressed."

"What, you a doctor now?" Zack said, though he knew Sephiroth was right.

"I am more qualified than some I'm acquainted with," Sephiroth said. "But that is beside the point. When I say stress is the cause, I am speaking from personal experience."

"You mean that's happened to you?" Zack said. He rubbed his arms. "Damn, it's cold in here."

Sephiroth stood and went over to the sliding glass door that led onto the balcony. "It has." He pushed the door closed and returned to the couch. "When I was younger; around your age, actually."

"That was a really long time ago..." Zack said, smirking. "And, let me guess, you used to have to walk uphill both ways, with no shoes on, in the snow to get to the training grounds, right?"

Sephiroth glared at him. "I will never understand how it's possible for you to make jokes no matter what the situation."

Zack grinned. "It's a gift."

"I'm sure." Sephiroth said. "Anyhow, as I was saying, it has happened to me. It is only a matter of time before mental torment manifests itself physically."

"Since you're the expert, what should I do?"

"Find a way to rid yourself of it," Sephiroth said.

That sounded easier said than done. He'd been trying for a month to rid himself of the memories and the nightmares, but nothing had worked.

"How the hell am I supposed to do that?" he said, sounding just as frustrated as he felt.

"Locate the source and do away with it," Sephiroth said. "For instance, I was forced into a position in the military that I was not prepared for. I was promoted out of pure necessity, because someone was needed to coordinate the war effort.

"Are you familiar with the saying 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer'?"

Zack nodded, wondering where this was going.

"That's what Shinra was doing," Sephiroth said, "I was both their greatest ally and their worst enemy. Such is my skill in battle, that they would have been utterly helpless if I joined the opposition. So, they thought that a higher rank and salary would be incentive for me to remain."

"In any case," he continued, "I knew almost nothing of battle strategy, SOLDIER was very lax in their teaching back then. So, when I was informed that I would be sent to Wutai within a week, I had no idea what I was going to do. The breakdown that happened then was far worse than what happened to you. It delayed my departure for two weeks, so they could ensure I was mentally capable.

"During that time, I located several books on war and read them. I rid myself of the problem by learning that which I didn't know."

"That's great and all, but I don't know what the problem with me is," Zack said.

Sephiroth looked at him. "Have you thought about it?"

"Well, no..." Zack said. "I've been trying not to think about it."

"Not thinking about things does not make them go away."

"I was kinda hoping it would..." That sounded stupid, even to him.

"This should not have been allowed to continue this long," Sephiroth said. "Why did you not inform me sooner?"

Sephiroth looked angry, and Zack's reasoning behind not talking to him was starting to seem more and more ridiculous.

"You were busy with other stuff..." he said, feeling like an idiot.

"That is not like you," Sephiroth said. "Did you not say that I could speak to you about anything at anytime? What makes you think that you do not have the same right?"

Zack looked down at his lap, ashamed. He'd been such a moron, letting himself think that he could deal with his problems on his own. He'd always told his friends that they could rely on him and yet he never let himself rely on them. He gave all of himself to those he cared about and never asked for anything in return, even when he needed it, and that had led to this.

He leaned back and sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Fuck..." He looked at Sephiroth. "I'm sorry, Seph."

Sephiroth nodded once, slowly, then said. "I believe I know what your problem is. You are feeling guilt over your actions."

Zack nodded in response.

"That's not uncommon," Sephiroth said. "I will tell you the same thing a very wise man once told me. You must learn to put the past behind you. You cannot change what's been done and dwelling on it will only make it seem worse. And often, that which you view as your greatest mistake will lead to your greatest triumph."

Zack couldn't remember ever receiving a better piece of advice.

He smiled. "You should become a shrink."

Sephiroth smiled slightly. "I believe I'll follow the advice of another wise man, who once said, 'Don't quit your day job'."


	11. The Perils of Cooking

**The Perils of Cooking**

Sephiroth was reminded exactly why he hated cooking as he searched around for a towel to wrap around his hand, while dripping blood on his spotless countertop and floor. Every time he had attempted it, he hand ended up injured, covered in some sort of food item or nearly setting his apartment on fire.

He finally located a towel and wrapped it tightly around his injured hand, then leaned back against the counter. What the hell was he going to do now? He really didn't want to go to the infirmary and have to tell them that he had cut his hand while trying to slice an onion. Tt would be all over the building within days that the "Great General Sephiroth" couldn't cook.

He briefly thought of calling Zack, but his friend was out with that trooper friend of his, Cloud, and probably wouldn't be back for several more hours. He also didn't particularly want to be laughed at, so calling Zack was out.

Frowning, he threw the offending onion in the sink and sat down on the floor, his back against the cabinets. He pressed his other hand over the wounded one and winced as pain shot through it. He pressed harder, hoping that the wound wasn't so deep that pressure wouldn't stop the bleeding.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard his door open, but didn't get up. Only one other person knew his keycode.

"Seph?"

Sure enough, it was Zack.

"In here," he said, and readied himself for the laughter that was sure to accompany Zack seeing him and his kitchen in such a condition.

He heard Zack kick his boots off and then footsteps, before he appeared in the doorway.

"What the hell?" Zack said, looking confused. He glanced around the kitchen before his eyes fell on Sephiroth and the blood spots on the floor.

He rushed in and crouched down next to Sephiroth. "What in the world did you do?"

"I was attempting to cut an onion," Sephiroth said.

Zack looked at his wrapped hand and sighed. "You're hopeless…"

Sephiroth glared at him and Zack rolled his eyes.

"Don't you have any bandages or anything?" Zack said. "Or were you just going to sit there and bleed to death?"

"I would not bleed to death," Sephiroth said. "And no, I don't have bandages, since I rarely need them."

Zack shook his head and stood. "Hang on. I'll be right back," he said and left.

Sephiroth leaned back again and wondered at the oddity that was Zack. Here he was, sitting on his kitchen floor, having made a complete fool of himself, and Zack hadn't laughed at him; he hadn't even cracked a joke about it.

Zack returned not five minutes later with a roll of bandages and sat down next to him.

"Here," he said, holding out his hand. "Let me see it."

"I know how to bandage a wound, Zack," Sephiroth said, reaching for the roll of bandages.

Zack pulled them away. "I know you can," he said, "but not very well with one hand."

Sephiroth had to admit that his second-in-command had a point and he surrendered his hand. Zack took it and pulled it toward him and Sephiroth tried not to flinch. He hated to be touched, which was something he knew that Zack was aware of.

Zack unwrapped the towel and let out his breath with a whistle. "Damn…"

Zack let go of his hand and stood up. He went over to the sink and wet the towel before returning to Sephiroth's side and picking up his hand again.

Zack wiped the wound with the towel and Sephiroth held back a hiss of pain.

"You should've just ordered something in," Zack said. He set the cloth down and started winding the bandage around Sephiroth's hand.

"And have to deal with another awestruck delivery boy?" Sephiroth said. "No thank you."

Zack finished wrapping the bandage and tucked the end in before standing up and extending his hand to Sephiroth.

Sephiroth accepted it and allowed Zack to help him up. He then noticed just how many blood spots there were on the counters and floor.

"I should clean up," he said.

"You do that," Zack said. "I'm ordering a damn pizza."

Sephiroth didn't have time to remark about how bad pizza was for you, for Zack was already gone. He picked up the towel off the floor where Zack had left it and proceeded to wipe up all the blood.

Just as he was finishing, Zack reappeared. "I just remembered something I meant to ask you earlier."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. "Hmm?"

"Do you want to spar with me in the morning?" Zack said. "I've been feeling a little off lately and could use some practice."

"Alright," Sephiroth said.

Zack grinned. "Good. And I'm sure you'll enjoy having the upper hand, since, after all, I'm not an onion."

Zack barely had time to duck as Sephiroth threw said onion directly at his head.


	12. Harsh Words

**Harsh Words**

Morning had always been Zack's favorite time of day. It was peaceful and quiet and, standing there on the outdoor training grounds, it felt as though he was the only person in the world.

He moved through the drills he had memorized long ago, relishing the feeling of his sword in his hands again. It had been far too long since he had last held it; six months ago, when he had gotten back from Wutai, he'd been unable to wield it, for every time he tried, he would relive what he had done with it.

He finished and stuck his sword into the ground, breathing a little heavier.

"Your form is off."

Zack turned and gave his commanding officer a half-hearted glare. "I know, I know…"

Sephiroth came over and pulled the sword from the ground. He swung it effortlessly and then handed it to Zack.

Zack took it and slid into fighting stance. He watched as Sephiroth moved into his own a few feet away.

He took a deep breath. This was going to be the first time he'd fought anyone and even though it was just sparring, he couldn't keep from being anxious.

Sephiroth was watching him, standing perfectly still. He knew Sephiroth well enough to know that he was measuring him, looking for weaknesses. That didn't ease his mind any, since he probably had weak points all over now.

"Are you prepared?" Sephiroth asked.

Zack nodded and charged him. Before he knew what had happened, he was flat on his back and his sword was lying on the ground a few feet away. Sephiroth had just disarmed him in one pass.

"Pathetic…" he said, between gasps for air.

He tried to sit up, but pain shot through his back. He squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip to keep from crying out.

_Great…_ he thought. Not only had Sephiroth just handed his ass to him, he was injured, too.

Sephiroth appeared in his field of vision. "Are you all right?"

"I…don't think so," Zack said, the pain coming through in his voice.

Sephiroth crouched beside him and closed his eyes. Zack heard the familiar sound of materia charging and a green glow came from Sephiroth's wrist. Sephiroth put a hand on his chest and he felt the comforting warmth of a Cure spell seep into him.

He sighed as the pain dissipated, and Sephiroth withdrew his hand. He got up and brushed himself off. "I'm glad no one else was here to see that. I'd never hear the end of it…"

He retrieved his sword and stood at the ready again, but Sephiroth hadn't moved.

"That is enough for now," Sephiroth said, and headed back toward the building.

Zack shouldered his sword and ran a little to catch up with him. "Seph, what-"

"Perhaps you should find another sparring partner," Sephiroth said, interrupting him.

Zack couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Another…what?"

"Someone closer to your own level."

There was a tinge of disappointment in Sephiroth's voice and that was all that was needed to send Zack over the edge he had been teetering on.

"Damn it, Sephiroth!" he yelled, stopping. "I already made a fucking fool of myself! I don't need to be ridiculed too! I know I'm out of shape, and, damn it, I _know_ you're better than me! Quit fucking rubbing it in!"

Sephiroth had his back turned and was silent.

"Now you're not going to say anything? Stroked your ego enough for one day?"

Sephiroth merely walked away.

"Fine! Leave!" Zack yelled after him. "Go find someone else to talk down to! I'm sure that won't be too hard for 'The Great Sephiroth'!"

He stalked over to one of the benches and threw himself down on it, propping his sword up next to him.

"Fucking Sephiroth…Thinks he's better than everyone else. Someone should show him…"

Zack stopped abruptly, realizing what he was saying. What the hell had gotten into him? He knew damn well that Sephiroth didn't think that way.

And when Sephiroth had suggested he find someone closer to his own level, that hadn't been disappointment Zack had heard; it had been guilt. Sephiroth felt guilty for hurting him and he had probably suggested that because he didn't want it to happen again.

"Shit…" Zack muttered.

He almost ran after Sephiroth, but he would have already been in the building and discussing this in front of a bunch of people wouldn't be a good idea. So, he got up and walked slowly back. He would talk to Sephiroth once he got to the office.

Half an hour later, Zack had changed into his uniform and was standing outside the office door, wondering what in the world he was going to say for himself. He sighed and punched in the pass code. The door slid open and he entered.

Sephiroth was seated at his desk, working, and he didn't even look up as Zack entered. He was making it a point to ignore him, it seemed. But Zack had noticed him stiffen slightly.

Zack sat down at his own desk and stared down at it, feeling horrible. The seconds ticked by and the sound of the clock seemed fifty times louder in the overwhelming silence.

Zack took a deep breath and looked up at Sephiroth. "Seph…I'm sorry."

Sephiroth made no move that showed he had heard, but Zack knew he was listening.

"I didn't mean those things," he continued. "I was just…frustrated."

He got up and went over to Sephiroth's desk. "I'm not used to losing that bad, ya know?"

He shook his head. "Now it sounds like I'm making excuses, so I'm going to shut up. But I really am sorry."

Sephiroth looked up at him, a barely schooled expression of hurt on his face. Zack realized, with an odd wrenching feeling, that he had cut Sephiroth far deeper than he thought.

"Tell me why I shouldn't strike you down where you stand," Sephiroth said, and Zack could hear the anger burning just below the surface.

Zack forced a smile onto his face. "'cause ya'd miss me too much," he said, almost succeeding in keeping all the fear from his voice.

Sephiroth looked at him for what seemed like ages, the clock ticking even louder than before. Then, he nodded slowly. "Watch your tongue from now on, Zack."

"I will," Zack said. "I promise."


	13. Memory

**Memory**

The cold needles slid into his veins, sending fire raging through him. And _he_ was there, hovering, watching, muttering things to himself.

He tried to grab the man, filled with the desire to do unspeakable things to him, but he couldn't move. It was like he was held in place by invisible bonds. He fought against them, but only succeeded in exhausting himself.

Hojo laughed, a sound that had the effect of fingernails on a chalkboard, and in the next instant he was holding a soldering iron.

Sephiroth felt it against his arm and bit back a cry of pain as his skin melted beneath it like the metal it was intended for.

And he did it again, and again, and again…

Sephiroth snapped awake, his arms burning as if the dream had been real.

"Hey, you alright?"

Zack's voice awakened him fully and he turned to see Zack glance at him from the driver's side of the Shinra car.

He was sweating, shaky, and he felt ill.

"Not especially, no," he said, deciding on the truth, since Zack would see right through any other answer he tried to give.

Zack glanced at him again, surprise and concern on his face.

He pulled off the road into one of the secluded back parking lots that many of the buildings had, parked the car, and then turned to Sephiroth.

"What the hell were you dreaming about?"

Sephiroth looked out the window. "Incidents from my past."

"Like what?"

Sephiroth sighed. He wasn't likely to get out of explaining this, and, as much as he wished to keep his past secret, something made him want to tell Zack.

"When I was young, Hojo used to…injure me," Sephiroth said. "To test my healing capabilities, or so he claimed."

There was a look of horror on Zack's face. "You're fucking kidding me."

Sephiroth pulled up one of his sleeves and held his arm out to Zack. There were innumerable scars on the skin there, most only visible if you knew what you were looking for.

Zack looked down at it for a moment, then narrowed his eyes. "I'm going to fucking kill him."

Sephiroth pushed his sleeve back down. "That would accomplish nothing."

"But I'd enjoy it so very much," Zack said.

Sephiroth turned back to the window, leaving Zack to contemplate Hojo's demise in silence. He'd wanted to do the same thing so many times, but something had always stopped him. He, who had killed countless people who had done nothing to him, couldn't lift a finger against the one who had harmed him the most.

He knew he was afraid of the man, an emotion he cursed every time it arose, but also one he felt he could do nothing to stop. The fear was ingrained so deeply in him from a time before he could remember.

"Seph?"

Sephiroth looked back at him.

"I'm…"

Sephiroth shook his head. "Don't say it," he said, cutting Zack off. "Pity is something I will not tolerate."

Zack settled for placing a hand on Sephiroth's shoulder. Sephiroth accepted the gesture; there was something oddly comforting about his friend's touch and he'd long since stopped attempting to avoid it.

He gave Zack a small smile. Zack returned it and squeezed his shoulder before withdrawing his hand.

Zack put the car back in drive and within minutes they were again speeding down Sector 6's main street.

Sephiroth leaned his head against the edge of the door, closed his eyes, and tried to put the dream out of his mind. He wished he could forget that any of it had ever happened, and pretend that he was just like everyone else.

After a time, he looked over at Zack, who was absently drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, glaring moodily at the red light they were stopped for.

Maybe forgetting wouldn't be so hard, after all.


	14. Idol

**Idol**

Sephiroth looked at the menu in his hands with disgust. "Remind me again why I let you bring me here."

"'cause I owe you for being an ass the other day," Zack said.

"So you brought me _here_?" Sephiroth set the menu down and looked across the table at his friend.

"Hey!" Zack said, looking offended. "The food here is awesome."

"Maybe so," Sephiroth said, "but this is Wall Market…"

"So?"

"Do you know what sort of place this is?" Sephiroth said, his disgust coming through in his voice.

"What? You scared?" Zack said, grinning.

Sephiroth glared at him. "You know what I mean."

"I should take you over to the Honeybee sometime," Zack said, still grinning. "I bet you'd enjoy it."

"I thought you said you brought me here to make up for being a jerk, not to continue being one," Sephiroth said. Just thinking of that place made him ill.

The waitress approached them before Zack could say anything.

"What'll it be?" she said.

"I'm gonna have the beef stew with a side of rice and a beer," Zack said.

She wrote it down and then looked over at Sephiroth. "And for the General?"

"I'll have the salad," Sephiroth said.

She wrote that down, her hand shaking slightly.

"Salad, Seph?" Zack said. "Come on!"

He turned to the waitress. "Just bring him the same thing I'm having."

The waitress glanced between him and Zack for a moment, before nodding and heading toward the counter.

"Why did you do that?" Sephiroth said.

"'cause I didn't bring you all the way here so you could get a _salad_ ," Zack said. "God, Seph, a salad is barely even food."

Sephiroth just sighed. There was no sense in arguing about it. He supposed he would just have to eat what he was brought.

He glanced around, noticing how the other patrons quickly averted their gazes and how they talked in low, excited sounding voices.

"Must they stare at me?" Sephiroth said in a low voice, so only Zack could hear.

"You're more than a little bit of a celebrity down here," Zack said. "Hell, you're a celebrity _everywhere_."

"Because the papers made it seem that I was the sole cause of our victory in the war." Sephiroth said. "I may have defeated Godo, but it was not I who won the war."

"But it's a more glamorous story," Zack said. "'The Great Sephiroth' defeating hordes of Wutai warriors single-handed."

"Pure nonsense..." Sephiroth said. That made him sicker than thinking about what kind of place the Honeybee Inn was.

"You were popular before that, though," Zack said. "Ever since it came out that you made First Class at 15. You're the reason so many boys join Shinra, me included."

Sephiroth snorted. "Petty idol worship, that's all it is. It's pathetic for someone to base their life upon the accomplishments of someone else."

Zack was silent. Sephiroth realized, with a tinge of guilt, that he'd struck a nerve in his friend.

After a few moments of tense silence, Zack spoke. "It's true..." he said. "I think that's why it bothered me. I always thought that my reasons for joining were good ones, but they weren't. They were stupid...I was stupid."

Sephiroth looked at him, deciding to put into words exactly what he was thinking. "If only Shinra had more soldiers like you."

Zack looked surprised by his praise, but then his expression turned into a genuine smile for a moment, before changing to the joking smile that Zack used so often.

"But if there was more of me, then you'd _never_ get any peace and quiet," he said.

Sephiroth merely smiled. If there were more people like Zack around, he didn't think he would mind.


	15. Ribbon

**Ribbon**

"I'm not wearing that!"

Zack looked at the item in his commanding officer's hand with great loathing. He couldn't wear something like that. There was no way.

"It will be extremely beneficial in the mission," Sephiroth said.

"I don't care how 'beneficial' it is," Zack said. "There's no way I'm wearing it."

It was taunting him, sitting there looking so purple, shiny, and very feminine.

"I might as well put on a goddamn dress and prance around singing 'I Feel Pretty'!"

Sephiroth gave him a cool stare. "You're overreacting."

Zack flopped back into the chair he'd been sitting in before Sephiroth had presented him with the offending item. "If it's not a big deal, then _you_ wear it."

"I am," Sephiroth said. He pushed up his sleeve, and sure enough, tied around his arm above his Dragon Armlet was a ribbon identical to the one he held.

Zack gaped at it. Never in a million years would he have thought that _Sephiroth_ would be wearing such a girly thing.

He smiled wryly. "You should wear it in your hair. It'd look nice."

Sephiroth shot him a glare and he burst out laughing.

"You could get some nice earrings to go with it," Zack continued, between laughter, "and maybe a tiara. You'd be the prettiest Shinra employee. Even that hot chick over in the clinic would have nothin' on you."

The look on Sephiroth's face spelled his untimely demise, but he wasn't scared in the least. He just continued to laugh.

"You had better watch yourself or I may order you to wear yours in that manner," Sephiroth said.

Zack stood up. "You can't make me wear it if you can't catch me!"

He took off at full speed out the door, still laughing.

That afternoon when they arrived in Mideel to exterminate some monsters, there was a certain purple, shiny, and very feminine item tied securely around his wrist.


	16. Sick Day

**Sick Day**

Sephiroth looked up at the clock for what seemed like the hundredth time. It was 10:17, which meant that his second-in-command was over an hour late. It wasn't unusual for Zack to come in late, especially on a Monday, but he was never this late.

He reached for the phone for the third time, actually intending to call Zack's apartment this time. It was late enough that it wouldn't seem like Sephiroth was calling because he was worried, which he was, but to chew Zack out for being so late.

He dialed the number and waited for an answer, preparing himself to yell at Zack for being late…and for making him worry, but Zack wouldn't need to know that.

"…Hello?" The voice on the other end barely sounded like Zack, it was so exhausted sounding and weak.

"Is there a reason you are over an hour late to work?" Sephiroth asked, his tone strictly business.

Zack groaned. "Huh…?" There was some shuffling, then a pause, and then, "Aw, fuck!"

There were more shuffling sounds and then another groan and a muffled curse.

"Sorry," Zack said. "Be right there…"

Sephiroth sat there a few moments after he heard the click on the other end, wondering what the hell was going on, before setting the phone down and returning to his paperwork to occupy himself until Zack arrived.

Fifteen minutes later, Zack arrived and Sephiroth nearly dropped his pen when he saw him. For lack of a better description, Zack looked like shit. He was pale, there were dark circles under his eyes, he hadn't combed his hair and his uniform looked like he had just thrown it on, not caring what it looked like.

Zack sank into his chair and gave the pile of papers on his desk a thoroughly miserable look. Sephiroth watched him as he grabbed the paper on top and his pen, and started in on it, propping his head up with his free hand.

Sephiroth sighed quietly and went back to his own work. It wouldn't do to worry about Zack when there was work to do. But, he found, as he did his work in complete silence, that it was strange not to have Zack interrupt him every few minutes with something completely pointless, and he wondered when that had gone from being annoying to something he actually enjoyed.

He looked up and saw that Zack was sprawled on his desk, his face buried in the crook of his arm. He sighed again and got up, figuring that he should give the man a break and send him home.

"Zack," he said.

"…What?" was the muffled response.

"Go home."

Zack lifted his head a little. "I don't think I can make it there…"

Sephiroth was about to make an exasperated reply, when he realized that Zack was being completely serious.

He walked around next to Zack's chair and held out his hand. "Come on."

He knew he had work to do, but screw Shinra; he was going to help his friend.

Looking relieved, Zack took his hand and Sephiroth helped him up and then out the door and into the nearest elevator. He pressed the button labeled "45", figuring it would just be easier to take Zack to his apartment, since Zack's own was further away.

"Where are you taking me…?" Zack said, leaning against him.

"My apartment," Sephiroth said, as the elevator started to descend.

Zack didn't say anything, only leaned more of his weight against Sephiroth. Sephiroth could feel the warmth coming off of Zack, even through his leather coat, which led him to believe that he had a fever.

The elevator stopped and the door opened. Sephiroth helped Zack down the hall to his apartment, and slid his keycard through the lock, before helping Zack inside.

He eased his friend onto the couch and Zack slid his boots off with shaky hands and leaned back.

"Lie down," Sephiroth said.

Zack did as he was told and Sephiroth went and got the blanket from his bed, bringing it back and draping it over Zack.

Zack curled up under the blanket with a small sigh.

Sephiroth, confident that Zack would be alright by himself, figured he'd better go back and finish the paperwork.

"I'm going back to the office," he said. "You may stay here as long as you wish."

He headed for the door.

"Seph…"

He stopped at Zack's call and turned back toward his friend.

There was a small smile on Zack's face. "Thanks."

Sephiroth inclined his head in response, then continued toward the door.

\-----

It was nearly midnight by the time Sephiroth finally left the office and returned to his apartment. On the way down, he had been wondering if Zack would still be in his apartment, but the light that was now filtering under his door told him that he was.

He went in and unbuckled his boots and set them by the door, then went into the living room. Zack was sitting on the couch with the blanket wrapped around him, watching television; Sephiroth was pleased to see that he looked almost normal.

Zack looked over at him and grinned. "Hey, did you know you get some really great porn channels?"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. He was back to normal, all right.

"Another late night at the office," Zack said. "I would've come back, but I just woke up."

Sephiroth sat down. "I assume you feel better."

"Yeah, tons," Zack said. "I knew those mako treatments would be good for something."

That was one of the good things about SOLDIER members, the mako meant that they rarely got sick and if they did, it only lasted a few hours instead of a few days. Sephiroth had such a high level that he never got sick at all, aside from the headaches he got every so often.

Sephiroth's weary mind was momentarily distracted by the news program that was on the television. The anchor was spewing the usual crap that Shinra put out to the masses to keep them loyal. Frankly, he thought it was disgusting and wondered how anyone could really be so blind as to not see what Shinra was really doing.

He rubbed his temple; as a matter of fact, he was getting one of those infrequent headaches right now.

"Hey, Seph?"

Sephiroth looked over at him.

"Thanks again for hauling me down here earlier," Zack said.

"You're welcome."

Zack grinned and threw an arm around his shoulders.

Sephiroth tensed involuntarily. He still wasn't used to anyone touching him in a friendly manner. He was so used to pain following any sort of contact, as it always had when the scientists touched him, that his muscles automatically contracted in preparation.

He sighed and willed himself to relax. He was much more easily agitated when he was tired.

Zack kept his arm where it was and turned his attention to the television, and Sephiroth looked at it as well, though he didn't pay attention to it, letting his mind wander. After having to be so on edge all day, it felt good to be able to relax.

Sephiroth surprised himself a few minutes later, when he started to doze off. He let himself, too tired to get up and go to bed.

He was roused from his half sleep when Zack removed his arm. He suppressed a yawn, annoyed that the pleasant relaxed feeling was starting to dissipate.

"Go to bed," Zack said.

Sephiroth's exhausted body forced him to agree. He got up and Zack did too, shutting off the television.

Zack handed him the blanket with a smile. "See ya in the morning."


	17. Elitist

**Elitist**

"Block to your left, Lieutenant! No, your left! LEFT!"

Luckily for the man, Sephiroth pulled his attack at the last second and only gave him a neat cut on his arm instead of nearly cutting it off.

"Ifrit's flaming balls!" Zack yelled. He'd had about enough of this.

Zack ran over to where the Lieutenant was standing, staring at Sephiroth.

"Damn it! What part of ' _left_ ' don't you understand?!"

The Lieutenant looked scared. "S-sir…I…"

"If he hadn't pulled that blow, it would've taken your arm clean off," Zack said, speaking in a lower tone, so only the Lieutenant and Sephiroth could hear him. "What if that had been a real fight?"

"Someday you might have to fight an enemy stronger than you are, and you can't let it affect you so much that you don't think about what you're doing." Zack gestured to Sephiroth. "I know he's intimidating, and you were probably thinking about all the letters you were going to write home about how you fought 'The Great Sephiroth' and blah blah blah, but you're in SOLDIER now and one of these days you're going to have to stop creaming your pants and _fight._ "

It looked like he'd rendered the Lieutenant speechless. Good. Maybe he'd think about what Zack had just said, then.

Zack heard Sephiroth sheath his sword.

"Fall in!" Sephiroth yelled.

The new SOLDIERs made a hasty formation in front of Sephiroth and Zack took up his position in the back.

"You are all worthless," Sephiroth said. "Every one of you. Out of all of you here, there isn't one who's able to take me on. Not one!"

Ah, so the cold bastard had finally come out. Zack had been wondering how long this charade was going to go on, before Sephiroth got pissed.

"I don't know why you decided to join SOLDIER, but if you did it to see your 'hero' up close, then take a good look and leave! I do not have the time nor the patience to deal with such frivolity. So, you will either get over this hero-worship, or you will remove yourself from my command. Do I make myself clear?"

No one said a thing and Zack could feel the tension in the air. No doubt, half of them had just shit their pants at the look Sephiroth was giving them.

"I said, 'do I make myself clear?'!"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

Sephiroth resumed the usual cool, aloof demeanor he had when dealing with the troops. "Now then, who's next?"

"I'll give it a go," Zack said. "Show 'em how it's done."

Sephiroth looked at him through the formation. "You mean you'll show them how to lose."

Ooooh, had Sephiroth just _taunted_ him? Zack grinned wickedly and walked around the formation, so he stood near Sephiroth. This looked like it would be fun.

"I wouldn't count your chocobos before they've hatched, General."

Sephiroth regarded him coolly, as if he were completely unfazed by anything Zack might say. "Then may I count the times my sword slices your flesh?"

"That'd be too easy," Zack said. "Zero!"

The Lieutenants looked like they weren't sure if they should laugh or be completely shocked that someone was talking to The General like this.

"It seems you have a death wish," Sephiroth said, and Zack noticed the amusement in his eyes.

"It seems _you_ have an ego problem," Zack replied.

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed. Zack was walking the line and he knew it.

Sephiroth looked at the formation. "Fall out."

They all backed up and some moved to get a better view. Zack noticed some worried looks; they obviously thought he was about to be murdered for that remark.

Sephiroth drew his sword with a flourish. Zack knew he was well aware of how striking he looked when he did that. Sephiroth might not be arrogant, but he was anything but modest; he knew very well how good he was and wasn't above showing off every once and awhile.

"Enough talk," Sephiroth said.

Zack drew his own sword and slid into a fighting stance. "Bring it on!"

They circled, eyeing each other, and Zack tried to form a strategy in his mind. He would have to move quickly and try to take Sephiroth by surprise; that was the only chance he had.

When Sephiroth's back was to the group, he gave Zack a small smile and gestured toward himself with two fingers. He wanted Zack to have the first attack.

Zack flashed him a grin and ran at him. He drove his sword point into the ground just in front of Sephiroth, used it as leverage, and flipped over Sephiroth to land behind him.

Sephiroth whirled and met his blade in its downward stroke and pushed him back.

Again, and again, wherever he went, Sephiroth was there to meet him.

He backed off and circled again, catching his breath and at the same time trying to gauge what Sephiroth would do. If he went on the offensive, Zack knew he was done for. The sheer speed of Sephiroth's attacks would wear him out and force him to drop his guard.

But so far Sephiroth had been hanging back and letting him attack, playing with him. He could tell that Sephiroth wasn't serious, because if he were, Zack would have at least been bleeding by this point.

Sephiroth watched him patiently for a moment, as if waiting for him to catch his breath and then came at him.

Sephiroth pounded him, raining blow after blow upon him, until he no longer had the strength to block them.

He fell onto his back and Sephiroth shifted his attack, so his sword went into the ground an inch or so from him, instead of through his shoulder. Sephiroth paused in the act of retrieving it and offered Zack his hand.

Zack took it and Sephiroth helped him to his feet. They backed away from each other and Zack saluted with his weapon.

Sephiroth returned it and then turned to the group. "That," he said, "is how a SOLDIER should fight. Dismissed."

The group went their separate ways.

As soon as there was no one around, Zack sank to the ground, letting his exhaustion show. "Damn, Seph…You tired me out."

Sephiroth sat down beside him. "Are you injured?"

"Nah," Zack replied. Sephiroth always made sure of that after every time they sparred, since he actually had injured Zack once.

Sephiroth nodded once. "I am grateful you stepped up," he said. "Someone needed to show them the proper way to fight, and I can think of no one better."

Zack smiled. "Heh, thanks," he said. "That means a lot coming from you, you elitist bastard."

Sephiroth smiled a little. "I merely appreciate a quality individual."

Zack coughed. "I appreciate big glasses of water," he said. "I don't suppose you happen to have any of those."

"No," Sephiroth said, standing, "But I know of a place that does."

Zack pushed himself up. "Then lead the way!"


	18. Broken Hearted

Sephiroth made his way into the barely lit living room at 8 AM to find Zack curled up under the blanket, still asleep, and stood there, looking down at him. He couldn't remember a time when he had seen his friend in such bad shape.

Shaking his head, he reached out and shook Zack. No matter what condition he was in, they still had to be in the office in an hour.

Zack awoke with a groan and blinked up at him for a moment, looking confused, before a look of recognition crossed his face. "Oh…" he said. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, then looked back at Sephiroth as he sat up.

"Sorry 'bout last night," he said, "Made a complete fool outta myself…"

"Forget it," Sephiroth said, the words coming out rougher than he meant them to.

Zack fell back onto the couch. "Damn, I feel like shit...You got any pain medicine?"

"In the bathroom," Sephiroth said.

Zack got up and headed toward the bathroom.

Sephiroth went into the kitchen to pour the coffee that would be ready by now. He got out two mugs and poured the coffee, grateful that Zack had convinced him to buy an automatic coffee maker with a timer. No more trudging down to the staff lounge at dawn only to find that someone had finished all the coffee and it hadn't been replaced.

As he added the sugar and creamer that Zack liked in his, he wondered about this girl Zack spoke about. She was young, that much was certain, for she had listened to her mother. Either that or she was an idiot, but that didn't seem likely; as flirtatious as Zack was, he was careful about who he had an actual relationship with.

He picked up the mugs and took them into the living room, setting them down on the coffee table. Zack hadn't emerged from the bathroom yet, which was odd because it had been at least 5 minutes. Perhaps he couldn't find the medicine. He flipped the light on and then went to go see what was keeping him.

The bathroom door was closed and there were muffled sobs coming from inside. Now, this was something Sephiroth could relate to. He had sat in his bathroom doing the very same thing a few times, though he would never admit to it to anyone, and since he had been in the situation before, it was only logical that he'd be able to think of a way to help.

The answer came to him more quickly than he thought it would.

He knocked softly on the door. "Zack?"

There was no answer, not even a 'go away'. Sephiroth assumed that meant that Zack wouldn't mind him entering, so he turned the knob and pushed the door open slowly to reveal Zack sitting against the wall with his legs pulled up to his chest and his face buried in his knees.

Sephiroth stood there in the doorway. Never had he imagined that such a strong person could look as defeated as Zack did at that moment.

"Zack," he said, to get his attention.

Zack didn't even move. It was as if he wasn't even aware that Sephiroth was there at all.

Sephiroth sighed. There was only one way he could think of to get Zack to snap out of it. He hated to do it, but he had to; he couldn't just leave Zack there.

"Lieutenant General Donovan!" he said, in the tone he used when giving orders to the troops.

Zack started and looked at him, surprise on his tear-streaked face. Sephiroth had never referred to him that way, something they both were well aware of, it seemed.

"Remove yourself from my bathroom," Sephiroth ordered, stepping out of the doorway and to the side.

"Yessir…" Zack said, his voice flat. He got up and shuffled out of the bathroom.

"Wait," Sephiroth said, just as Zack passed him.

Zack turned and Sephiroth wondered, as he thought of what he was about to do, if it would have been better to just let Zack go. But, he told himself, no matter how uncomfortable it was for him, it was his duty; Zack had done so much for him, it was the least he could do.

He took a deep breath and put his arms around Zack, who stiffened in surprise.

"Seph…?" Zack said, the same surprise in his voice.

Sephiroth said nothing and remained where he was, and it wasn't long before Zack relaxed and buried his head against his shoulder, breaking down again.

Sephiroth stood in silence as his only friend cried his heart out and thought about how strange it felt to have someone else this close to him. He couldn't remember ever hugging anyone and he'd never really been hugged; Zack would put an arm around his shoulders occasionally, but that was as close as he had ever gotten.

It was strange, but it wasn't bad, he realized. As Zack moved away, he actually found himself wanting it to last longer.

"Are you finished?" he said, ignoring the wet spot on his shirt.

Zack sniffed. "Yeah."

"Come on. The coffee's getting cold," Sephiroth said, and headed for the living room.

He sat down on the couch and grabbed his mug as Zack did the same.

Sephiroth took a sip of his coffee and said, "When you're finished you are to take the day off, go find that girl, and tell her what you told me last night."

Zack stared at him. "But…"

"That's an order, soldier."

"Yes, sir."

"Also, I would like to meet this girl," Sephiroth said. He had to see the cause of such turmoil for himself.

Zack smiled. "I think that can be arranged. She hangs around this old church a lot; I bet you'd love it."


	19. Friend of a Friend

**Friend of a Friend**

Sephiroth stifled a yawn as he set yet another report in his "Out" box and looked across the small office to the desk of his second-in-command. Zack was looking down at a document on his desk with a pained look on his face.

Curious, Sephiroth stood and strode over to the other desk. He peered down at the document and recognized it as a SOLDIER candidate file. It was turned to the last page, which held remarks from various personnel and a space for the recommendation of the officer in charge of entry, which was Zack, and a line for his signature.

"Is there a problem?" Sephiroth asked.

Zack looked up at him. "I have to fail him," he said, the same pain in his voice.

Sephiroth looked down at the name in the header of the document. Cloud Strife. Ah, so that was it.

"Couldn't pass medical," Zack continued. "Something about a possible severe reaction to mako."

Zack pounded his fist on the desk. "Damn it…I won't be able to tell him _why_ he didn't pass, either. He'll think it was because he wasn't good enough."

That was a shame. From the few times Sephiroth had seen the kid, he'd seen potential. Granted, Strife had a serious lack of self-esteem, but he was disciplined, decent with a sword, and seemed to learn quickly. In time, he would have become a fine member of SOLDIER.

Zack sighed and wrote something in the recommendation slot, then signed it and put it on the stack of other SOLDIER applications. He picked the whole stack up and handed it to Sephiroth.

Sephiroth took it and returned to his desk. In a few hours he'd announce the results to the candidates. There was only one thing he could think to do that might help alleviate some of Zack's worry and he would make sure he did it.

          -----

Sephiroth took a deep breath and set his face in its usual impassive mask as he turned the knob and entered the room.

"Group, attention!" the Sergeant Major that stood in front of the line of candidates called.

The group came to attention and the Sergeant Major saluted him.

Sephiroth came to stand in front of the Sergeant Major and returned his salute. The man looked slightly nervous, as did the troops standing behind him. Sephiroth was well aware of how imposing he looked in his dress uniform, with the many awards he'd received pinned on it and the four gold stars gleaming on the epaulettes, so he wasn't at all surprised.

He dropped his hand and nodded to the Sergeant Major, who dropped his own hand and went to stand behind the troops.

Sephiroth scanned the line and found Strife near the end, looking considerably more nervous than the others. He regretted that he was about to crush that hopeful look in his eyes.

"Your applications for the SOLDIER program have been reviewed and we have made our selections," Sephiroth said. He lifted the paper he held so it could be read and began to read off the names.

When he reached the end, he noticed that Strife looked like he was about to start crying, though he was trying hard to maintain his bearing.

"Congratulations to those who passed," Sephiroth said. "See your current commander for your orders, and Lieutenant General Fair will see you tomorrow on the practice field. Dismissed."

The soldiers filed out.

Sephiroth waited until Strife, who was walking with his head bowed neared him, and called out, "Corporal Strife, may I have a word?"

Strife stopped dead in his tracks and looked up at him, eyes widened slightly. Some of the other soldiers looked back and a few stifled laughs. They obviously thought Strife was about to get reprimanded for something.

Strife rushed over and stood in front of him, looking like he was about to piss his pants or pass out, perhaps both.

"S-sir?" he said.

Sephiroth headed for the far corner of the room and gestured for Strife to follow. Once they were well out of earshot of the few soldiers still in the room, Sephiroth leaned back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest.

Strife stood in the stiffest position of attention Sephiroth had ever seen.

Sephiroth allowed the stern mask to slip. "Relax," he said. "You are not in any sort of trouble."

Strife shifted position, but still didn't look anything close to relaxed.

"Despite regulations, I feel compelled to tell you the reasons for your disqualification," Sephiroth said, "because you are the friend of a friend."

Strife looked shocked and slightly more nervous. Obviously he was aware that his and Zack's friendship went against all sorts of regulations.

"Don't look so shocked," Sephiroth said. "I have been aware of your relationship with Zack from the beginning."

"In any case," Sephiroth continued, "You were disqualified for medical reasons; they reported you to have a possible severe allergy to mako. You passed the other sections. Had you passed medical, I would have recommended you immediately. You have potential and it's a shame to see it go to waste."

Sephiroth could tell that such a statement from him had made Strife feel immeasurably better. He could even see the ghost of a smile on the kid's face.

"You are dismissed," he said.

Strife saluted him, then left very quickly.

          -----

Later that evening, when Zack showed up to his apartment, he plopped down next to him on the couch, a smile on his face.

"Cloud told me what you did," Zack said. "Thanks. It meant a lot to him."

"He has great potential," Sephiroth said. "You choose your friends well."

Zack's smile widened and he looked pointedly at Sephiroth. "I know I do."


	20. Like A Flower

**Like A Flower**

Sephiroth looked around the small church as he followed Zack up the aisle between the pews. He couldn't understand why a young girl would be hanging around in a place like this. It was old and run down and…

His thoughts abruptly stopped as his eyes fell on the most beautiful flowers he had ever seen.

"Flowers in Midgar…" he muttered. ”Impossible…"

He looked to Zack for an explanation, but Zack just smiled and looked around. "Oi! Aerith!" he called.

"Zack?"

A girl emerged from a doorway behind the flowerbed with a watering can in her hands. Sephiroth's first thought was that she was beautiful, just like the flowers, innocent and untainted by her surroundings.

"Oh! You didn't tell me you were bringing anyone!" she said, seeming positively delighted.

She set the watering can down and came over to them, then looked up at Sephiroth with eyes that were far older than the young girl that possessed them. He could tell, as he stood there, her gaze locked with his own, that there was more to this girl than met the eye.

She smiled. "Hello, Sephiroth."

He wasn't at all surprised that she recognized him. He was in the newspapers so often, after all.

He nodded in response to her greeting.

"I'm Aerith," she said. "Zack told me you were the one that convinced him to come back. Thank you."

She pushed herself up on her toes and kissed him on the cheek. He tried to keep from looking shocked. No one had ever done that before. Usually people were too afraid of him, but he got the feeling that she was treating him just as she would anyone else, as if he was nothing special. It was very nice.

She giggled at him and grabbed his hand, and before he knew what was happening he was being pulled toward the flowers.

She released him in front of the flower bed and he looked at Zack and found him watching, amusement in his eyes. He shot his friend a glare and Zack grinned.

"Do you like flowers, Sephiroth?" Aerith asked.

He found himself smiling a little at the melodic way she said his name. He had never heard anything quite like it.

"I cannot say," he replied, "because I hadn't seen any until today."

"Really?" Aerith said, looking a little sad at the thought.

Sephiroth nodded.

"Do you like these?"

Sephiroth looked down at the flowers and breathed in, smelling their sweet fragrance. "Yes."

Zack slid his arm around her waist and smiled at her. "C'mon now, you're makin' me jealous."

She smiled back. "Don't be silly!"

"That's like telling a chocobo not to be a giant bird," Zack said.

She laughed and pushed him away. Zack stuck out his lower lip and pouted, as she knelt down and started watering the flowers.

Sephiroth found it hard to keep from laughing at their antics. He covered it with a cough, but couldn't keep the smile off his face.

"Would ya look at that!" Zack said. "You must have special powers, Aer. It took me half a year to get him to smile."

Sephiroth tried to hide the smile, but it refused to go away.

"It's nice," Aerith said. She got up and came over to him, then she said softly in his ear, "They say you should smile more."

She went back to watering the flowers and Sephiroth watched her, puzzled. When she had said that, her voice had sounded completely different; the voice had matched her eyes, its tone unbefitting of her age.

He wondered who she could have been talking about. The way she said it made it sound like it was someone he knew, but how could she possibly have known anyone he did?

"Aer, we gotta go," Zack said. "Got lots of work to do."

Sephiroth realized with a shock, that he had completely forgotten about the work they had left behind in the office. This had to have been the first time in months that he hadn't been thinking about work, even in the back of his mind.

Aerith got up. "Ok," she said, "You're going to come back later right?"

Zack smiled. "Of course. I promised, didn't I?"

Aerith smiled and hugged him, then she turned to Sephiroth.

"It was nice to meet you," she said. She knelt down and picked a small amount of white flowers, then straightened and held them out to him. "Here. Take these with you."

Sephiroth took the flowers. "Thank you."

She smiled. "You're welcome. Please come back anytime you want."

As they were walking out, Zack said softly. "Isn't she amazing?"

Sephiroth smiled. "Very."


	21. Bright Red

**Bright Red**

Sephiroth heard the cry of pain and it took a second for his mind to register what had just happened.

Zack was on his knees, hand over his upper arm, eyes squeezed shut, a look of sheer pain on his face.

Sephiroth moved away from the tree he'd been leaning against and went over, dropping to his own knees beside Zack. He tried to ignore the way Zack was crying out in pain, because it was grating on his nerves; he'd heard that sound far too many times, but never from anyone he was close to.

Blood was coming from between Zack's fingers, and it wasn't merely a trickle like a superficial wound would have produced; it was bright red and was gushing out in a steady rhythm.

"I…I'm sorry, sir…" the SOLDIER who had wounded Zack said, a look of horror on his face.

"Stop apologizing and bring me the damn first aid kit!" Sephiroth said.

The SOLDIER gulped and ran to retrieve it, bringing it back in a few seconds.

Sephiroth gently grasped the wrist of the hand that Zack had clamped over the wound. "Move your hand."

Zack obeyed, and blood spurted out. The wound was deep, almost too deep.

Sephiroth opened the box and sifted through it, throwing the unimportant things aside, until he came to what he needed, the tourniquet.He put it around Zack's arm and tightened it down until the surge of blood stopped, and Zack fell against him, sobbing.

Sephiroth put an arm around him to steady him and glanced down at Zack's sword that lay on the ground beside him. He touched the green materia that was in one of its slots and was relieved to find that it was a mastered Cure. He should have known it would be, since Zack always brought it on training missions.

He closed his eyes and activated it. There was a slight whirring sound as it charged itself and then released its energy through him and into Zack. The green light covered Zack and Sephiroth watched the wound close almost completely, leaving only a moderate laceration.

Sephiroth released the tourniquet and wound a bandage around the wound, then checked to make sure Zack was okay.

He was still conscious, surprisingly.

"Fuck…" he said, barely loud enough for Sephiroth to hear.

"Can you sit up?" Sephiroth asked him.

"Think so," Zack said and he moved away from Sephiroth.

Sephiroth stood and looked at the SOLDIERs who had gathered around. The one who had done it, a young Captain, was pale and looked like he was about to cry, be sick, or both.

"Captain, I need to speak with you," Sephiroth said. "The rest of you are dismissed. I will see you this afternoon."

The SOLDIERs left quickly, some giving the young Captain pitying looks. They obviously thought this was the last time they'd be seeing their comrade, and the Captain thought the same, based on the look on his face and the way he was shaking now.

"Come here," Sephiroth said to him after they'd gone.

The Captain came over to them, moving like some approaching a rabid animal.

"Sit down." Sephiroth gestured to a place beside Zack where there was no blood on the ground.

The Captain sank down, giving Zack a thoroughly miserable look.

Zack gave him a smile.

Sephiroth sat down as well. "Captain," he said, "You should not feel guilt over your actions. You did exactly as was expected of you. The purpose of a weapon is to wound your opponent, and the fact that you did, in this degree, means that you are competent with it."

"It's my fault for not blocking," Zack said. "Don't worry about it."

"Go home and get some rest," Sephiroth said. "I do not want to see you until tomorrow morning."

The Captain looked at him for a moment, as if shocked that Sephiroth had just given him the rest of the day off.

"Go, before I change my mind."

The Captain nodded. "Y-yes, sir."

He stood, saluted and left.

"You're covered in blood," Zack said.

Sephiroth looked down at himself and the reality of the situation finally sunk in. He was sitting there covered in his best friend's blood and had there been much more of it, Zack wouldn't be sitting beside him.

Sephiroth suddenly felt ill.

"Seph?" Zack said, concern in his voice. "You alright?"

Sephiroth barely heard him. The entire scene was playing back in his head like a song on repeat; the blood, the cries, the feeling of Zack's body trembling from the pain.

He was brought out of it when Zack touched his arm and looked up to see his friend looking disturbingly pale.

"Uh, I think I'm gonna pass out here," Zack said.

Sephiroth had been too busy focusing on what had happened that he hadn't even realized that Zack wasn't out of harm's way yet.

He stood, pulling Zack up with him. Slung Zack's uninjured arm around his neck and helped him toward the building.

\-----

A short while later, they were seated in a room in the hospital wing, Zack with an IV in one arm and a sandwich in his other hand, looking like nothing had happened.

"Hey," Zack said, breaking the silence.

Sephiroth turned his gaze from the window.

"Thanks for saving my life," Zack said.

"I was returning the favor," Sephiroth said, recalling that time in Wutai when it had been _him_ bleeding on the ground.

Zack just smiled and took another bite. "Ya know what the best part of this is?" he said, mouth full. "Free food!"

Sephiroth shook his head with a sigh.


	22. Follow Me

**Follow Me**

Sephiroth stood at his window, staring out at the city lights. It looked to be a beautiful night; as beautiful as any night in Midgar could be, that is. He imagined the people below enjoying themselves, as they no doubt would be on a Saturday night and wondered how anyone could be happy in such a world, where everything was run by greed and no one truly cared about anyone unless it would somehow further their own twisted ambitions.

He didn't turn from the window at the sound of his door opening. It had been locked and only one person knew his code, so he didn't have to look to know who had entered. He had half a mind to say he wanted to be alone, but he knew that would accomplish nothing, and besides, it would be a lie. Instead he offered a soft greeting to his guest.

"Hello, Zack."

"What're ya standin' around in the dark for?" chimed Zack's cheerful voice from the other side of the apartment.

Sephiroth didn't say that he hadn't felt like turning on the light. The dark seemed to better suit the morose mood he'd been in since the late meeting he'd had with the President.

Zack came up beside him and began to talk about the bar he'd obviously just gotten back from, given the stench of smoke and alcohol that surrounded him. Sephiroth paid him little attention, as he had learned was best when his second was intoxicated. Otherwise, he'd get a headache trying to understand what in the world Zack was saying.

Sephiroth took a long, deep breath, feeling his foul mood already beginning to dissipate. It really was remarkable how Zack's mere presence had such an effect on him.

"...and then I...Seph?"

Sephiroth turned his head slightly.

"What's up with you tonight?" Zack said.

"Nothing," Sephiroth replied, and turned back to the window.

"Yeah right," Zack said. "I dunno why you keep tryin' to pull that, 'cause it's not gonna work."

"Zack..."

"I can tell there's somethin' bugging you," Zack continued as if he hadn't heard Sephiroth, "I mean, I come in and you're standin' here in the dark starin' out the window and I bet you - "

"Zack," Sephiroth said, fixing him with a cool stare. "Stop."

"But - "

"Stop."

Zack sighed. "Fine."

In the heavy silence that followed, Sephiroth stared at the sky and wondered if he said something he shouldn't have. He seemed to have a habit of that.

"I guess I'll just leave you alone, then..."

Zack turned to leave, but Sephiroth grabbed his arm. He looked down at his hand, surprised. It was like his body had just acted on its own.

"No," he said, "Stay."

He didn't know why, but at that moment the prospect of being alone again seemed unbearable.

Zack stopped and looked down at Sephiroth's hand, then smiled.

Sephiroth removed his hand and turned back to the window, looking at his reflection within it. His eyes gazed back at him, glowing softly in the dim light.

"I had a meeting with the President this evening," Sephiroth said.

"Where are we going now?"

"We are not going anywhere," Sephiroth said. "I am going back to Wutai."

"What?!" Zack said and Sephiroth could see the look of absolute disbelief on his face reflected in the glass.

"I am to gather a squad of SOLDIERs for a…diplomacy mission."

"Diplomacy my ass!"

Zack looked as if he wanted to choke someone, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.

Sephiroth would have told him to calm down if it weren't for the fact that he felt much the same way.

"And why do I have to stay here?" Zack said.

"I recommended that you stay behind," Sephiroth said, turning to look at Zack.

Sephiroth had been worried that being in Wutai again would trigger some memory and cause Zack to have another breakdown.

"But I - " Zack started, but stopped short. "Oh…"

He turned away, head bowed. "I understand…"

Zack's voice echoed disappointment and something else Sephiroth couldn't quite place. Sephiroth hadn't realized that his decision would bother Zack so much.

"But, in the end, I supposed it's up to you," Sephiroth said. It really would be more tolerable if Zack was there.

Zack looked at him.

Sephiroth fixed him with a solemn look. "Will you follow me?"

Zack's eyes shown with determination. "Through hell and back again."


End file.
